Category Archives: Self-Help

Exercise 2 : Learn To Love YOU!


So I notice that when people first start talking to me they come off as being content with their lives only for them to open up five minutes later about how they hate x, y and z. When I first meet someone, whether it be online or off, I generally can get a good feel for who they are the minute I start speaking with them. I don’t like to sound cocky but I can see through people pretty well. Often times, I won’t point out these little things because, to me, that doesn’t matter. But, for the most part, people can generally go on and on about things they don’t like about themselves.

Think about it, while you may be shaking your head and saying “No, no I’m really happy” (Which, I think that there really are people who are happy with themselves out there) You can probably go on and on about this one thing that you really dislike about yourself. This can be some bad habit, your appearance, something you did years ago that still haunts you or a myriad of other issues. While we can all go on rambling about things we dislike, do we take the time to ramble about things we like?

I don’t mean that you should go running around proclaiming you are god’s gift to mankind but, be a little nicer on yourself! This exercise is designed to help YOU bring out those positive qualities and start highlighting those rather than always rambling about the negative.

1. Take out a piece of paper and fold it in half vertically. You should have a left and a right column.

2. Label one column “Things I love about my appearance” and “Things I love about my personality” Notice how we are not writing a “Pro’s” and “Con’s” list.

3. Begin with your appearance. I guarantee you can list at LEAST 5 things you love about your appearance. Is it how your hair shines in a certain light? Is it about how your eyes get to be a beautiful color when you wear a certain outfit? Or about how people are commenting on your beautiful figure? Whatever you can think of, write it down.

4. Next go to your personality. Do you love how you always can help out a friend in need? Do you volunteer at a local shelter or soup kitchen? Can you make others laugh? You can probably name a ton of things about your personality. Write ’em all!

5. When you’re all done, go over each list. Notice all of the wonderful things you have just said about yourself. Keep this list in a place where you can see it and the next time you’re thinking about rambling on about all the bad things, take a look at this list.

No matter what, you are beautiful and wonderful. There are so many diverse and great things about being you that only you can possess. Don’t worry that you don’t have what the person next to you has, be happy with what you have. More often than not, the person next to you is wanting something you have.

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Why Should You Create A Daily Log?


Well since we all want to know more about the world, the first place that we should start with is ourselves. By creating a daily log for ourselves we can gain a lot of insight into who we are, how we act during certain times and what emotions or physical ailments trigger what. By taking some time out each day to fill out some information on ourselves we can begin to paint a picture of our true being.

Whenever I do my logs I like to include the current moon phase. There are numerous amounts of people who have linked certain moods of theirs to certain phases of the moon. I’m sure we’ve all heard “Well there’s tons of crazy drivers out on the road so it must be a full moon!” Nature has cycles and so do we and by taking the time to understand them we begin to understand ourselves.

Remember, you are going to want to make sure that you log at least for two weeks in order to begin to see a pattern. If you don’t see one after two weeks then I urge you to continue with your writing and log for at least two months. Doing this throughout the year can really boost your inner-knowledge and is a great tool to starting a self-help routine.

For a quick guide and links to printable and online versions of my logs please visit the following link.

How To: Create A Daily Log

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Exercise 1: Gain Perspective On Humanity


With the study of the history of humanity it seems that we have a gap between what it means to be human and our modern day society. For years we have seen countless wars being waged over things that just do not make sense. We began with land and have now worked our way to wars over our own minds. We began to create wars over who could think which way and what way of thinking is right. Where does this insanity end? Where should the line be drawn between what we can and cannot wage war over?

Our American society, which has now grown into a global phenomenon, has put such value on material gain and material things that we have lost sight of what it truly means to be human. Our sexual desires are now outlined by what we should and should not do during sexual intercourse. Our desire for food has been replaced by packaged and processed items and even the way that we entertain ourselves is outlined by what society deems “right”. What makes these things right? Who makes these things right?

When it comes down to it, each and every one of us is responsible for how we live our day to day lives. Whether you would like to believe we are controlled or not we have to understand that we do have choices. We have the ability to reach within ourselves and grasp what it truly means to be human.

The exercise I would like you to try is quick and easy and only requires you, a quiet spot (preferably alone), a piece of paper and a pen

1. First write all of the things that you disagree with in life. Whether it be religion, politics, the way someone does something.

2. Take a look at that list and see if you can attach any situations or persons to those disagreements.

For instance, you may write that you disagree with the Buddhist tradition and then go on to write that you disagree with it because someone has told you to. Or you may disagree with it because someone who believes in Buddhism has disagreed with you.

3. For those beliefs that you have attached to a person or situation, try and understand them. Feel the situation or person that has provided a negative backing to this belief. Take a deep breath and let go of those negative emotions. Understand that these are just words and you do not have to believe in them but feel yourself becoming accepting of the fact that these are just different beliefs. See them for what they truly are, differences of opinion.

4. For the words that you cannot connect to a specific person or thing I want you to take these into special account. I would like for you to research them and jot a few notes down. Understand these beliefs. See if you can gain perspective on them. While you also do not have to agree with them, simply disliking something because you “Just dislike it” is also not the way to go.

After this exercise understand that while there are differences throughout this world, we must keep our eyes open to everything. We must see that each and every person provides a vital role in life and that arguments over politics or religion is petty. Love one another and gain insight into humanity by accepting one another.

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I’ll Do It Tomorrow…Or The Next Day…


I’m sure most of us have been there at the dreaded place called “Procrastination” Maybe some have been there much more often than they would like to admit but I will say that I am one of those people. Putting things off to pursue mind numbing activities like surfing the web, looking at the latest Youtube crazes or constantly checking your Facebook and e-mail…Sound familiar?

There’s good news though! We can all learn a few tips and tricks in order to flush out that procrastination and finally get that essay done or housework we’ve been meaning to do for ages. I can say from personal experience from being able to walk into a nice neat room and knowing that I don’t have to write that 10 page paper at the last minute is surprisingly refreshing.

1. Prioritize
A helpful tip in preventing procrastination is to write out what tasks need to be done and write which ones are most important to those that are least important. For example, an essay that is due two days from now is more important than cleaning your room. You do not need a clean room to write! If you would like a neater space, go to your local coffee shop or library and if you absolutely must stay at home, find a neater room in your house or apartment.

2. List, list, list!
One of the things I have noticed is that by writing a list of the things you need to do is such a huge help in the quest to get things done. By setting up a list for doing things at specific times will also help a bunch too. For instance, say you need to write an essay, clean your room, make some phonecalls and finish up some work related tasks you can create something similar to this…

My Day – April 25th 2011
8:00 AM – 8:30 AM – Waking up, breakfast
8:30 AM – 9:00 AM – Shower
9:00 AM – 10:00 AM – Write outline for essay
10:00 AM – 11:00 AM – Tidy room

Obviously you can add in any appointments or classes you must attend and leave enough time so that you can get there, spend enough time there and the trip home. This list will give you a general outline of your day. If you happen to run a few minutes over into the next task that’s fine and if you happen to end a bit early that is fine as well. If you happen to be stuck on one task either stop and start the next task or continue and adjust the schedule accordingly.Of course things in life happen so that this may not work out 100% as you have planned, but at least you have a plan. Always make some time set aside just for yourself!

3. Split up tasks
As you can see from the list above I had put from 9:00 AM – 10:00 AM – Write outline for essay. By splitting the tasks up you can get more done by not getting stuck on one thing for too long. If the tasks are boring or they require a lot of mental energy it’s best to do chunks of them at different times. So later on in the day you may want to put 2:00 PM – 3:00 PM – Write intro paragraph. Make sure for things like this you allot yourself a few days to finish the task. You can set up your schedules for the week on Sunday and edit whatever pops up accordingly.

4. Set reminders
Have reminders sent to your phone or e-mail stating the important things you have to do throughout the day or week. It’s best to have them sent enough time before the actual task is due. If it’s something like cleaning up set up a date you would like to have it clean by and stick to it! Treat it as if you would treat papers that are due for school or tasks that are due for work. Something like this is especially important for school papers or projects because you want to leave enough time to finish it and revise it if needed.

5. Have friends or family help
It’s always good to talk to your friends or family about some of the issues you may be having with keeping on task. My guess is that your friends will be more than happy to help you stay on task and may even be able to help you finish the task earlier. Having people congratulate you on finishing your task is a huge reward too and will boost your confidence to be able to continue finishing tasks.

6. Shut off the electronics!
If you know for a fact that your cellphone, laptop, iPad or whatever other device you have is going to distract you, TURN IT OFF! It’s really as simple as that. You can even have one of your friends hold on to it for you while you finish your work. If you are writing an essay on the computer and need the internet you must practice some self-discipline. Only go to websites that are needed for your project or print it out and then shut off the internet connection. After you’ve finished you can reward yourself by going on the computer or doing whatever it is that you would rather be doing. Always use that time to tell yourself “Hey, I finished what I needed to get done. Isn’t it awesome that I get to do what I want to do now?”

Procrastination doesn’t always have to be scary. Planning is key! You must, must, must plan your day out and stick to it as best as you possibly can. By ignoring a task or telling yourself you will “Do it later” it allows for the task to slip out of your mind. Having lists and a plan will put the things you need to do right in front of you so that you won’t forget and you will know what needs to be done!

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Getting Back On Your Feet


One of the most frustrating things is getting to a point in your life where you feel so good just to be picked up off of your cloud. We all have days like these and sometimes they leave us feeling in a much worse spot than we had intended. Days can pass by and even weeks where we feel the weight of the past looming over us. The issue with this negativity is that it can bring down not one, not two but eventually all aspects of our lives.

So what are we to do when we find ourselves in a rut?

1. You are human.
We all make mistakes. It’s just how the world works. There have been plenty of great minds that have openly admitted to making hundreds if not thousands of mistakes before getting to their great Aha! moment. Even after that moment there are times where we will, yet again, find ourselves in a sad spot. This is just the ebb and flow of life. For some, life is good 98 percent of the time and bad only 2 percent of the time. For the majority of these people it’s because they know how to let go and bounce back.

2. Step away from the situation!
Okay, so you’re beating yourself up because you know that you have messed up. Your life seems like it’s in shambles and you keep saying “What if…?” Take a step back. What can you learn from this? How has this helped you? (Notice I used the word help because it will help you!) How can you prevent this from happening again? By taking a step back and re-evaluating there is a strong possibility that you may not have messed up as bad as you think. There may be a simple way out or maybe there needs to be a few steps to take to get you back. If this is not a high priority situation in your life, drop it. It’s not worth the burden of carrying something that may not matter a few years from now.

3. Gain insight and speak to people!
One of the most frustrating and upsetting things is feeling like we don’t belong. Like what we have done has never ever been a fault of someone else. I’m sure that most would be surprised that we have much more in common with our fellow neighbors than we think. Now, it may not be that they made the same mistakes or have been in the same situation but they could have been some place similar. Even if they haven’t it’s good to get some advice from family and friends to help pull you through this rough patch.

4. You will get through this
Finally, know that you will get through this. Yeah, yeah you’ve made a horrible mistake but guess what? Tomorrow will come, and the next day will come and each day will be much brighter than the past. You will be fine and you will get through this. Keep your head up and walk tall. There’s no better time to learn from this than now and it’s best to do it with a positive outlook.

So there you have it, it’s possible to get out of that nasty place and into the sunshine yet again. And hey, if anyone needs some help you are always more than welcome to send me an e-mail or message. We’ll talk it out and pull you back from the depths of the darkness!

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We Control The Universe


Now it must sound like quite an egotistical way to simply state that “We control the universe” but at the core of it, we do. It may seem to many that our lives are constantly governed by others from our bosses telling us to do something to our spouses getting angry that we haven’t done something the correct way. We are generally taught that the world is not our own and we must do as we are told in order to get anywhere in life. Being told to act a certain way, respond a certain way and think a certain way are all things that we are spoon-fed since day one. The concept of the ability to “control the universe” is one that starts from the center of your world. This center is always you. Think about it for a moment, if you look around things are always in front of you, always behind you, always above and below you. From another object or person, they are the center of their universe. So after we’ve established that you are indeed that center point of the universe, how do we control the situations that are given to us? Surely we cannot control whether we get the promotion or not or if tomorrow the sun will shine, right? Our abilities do not span outside of ourselves and whatever situations arise we cannot simply wave a magic wand and make it disappear (or appear for that matter) What we do have is the ability to think, react, feel. Let’s say for instance you do not get that promotion, will you let that bring you down? Will you let that promotion haunt you and consume your life? Or, will you take control of it yourself? What are some things that we allow to consume our universes?

  1. Relationships. Having stressed relationships with those around us. Whether it be family, friends, significant others or even strangers we can find ourselves in situations where we consume our lives with others instead of ourselves. (There is a difference here between being selfish and self-caring)
  2. Work. So our bosses pile up the paperwork or get angry at us for making that little mistake that really would not have made a significant difference in the company whatsoever. We become burnt-out and stressed from even thinking about work the next day.
  3. School. Whether you are in college, high school or pursuing any other type of education getting your work done on time and in the way that the professor or teacher wants it is daunting. Either you strive too hard to get straight A’s and can’t let a B blemish your record or you simply have too much to juggle.
  4. Materialism and self-image. You see beautiful people all day and when you go to look in the mirror you suddenly notice things you dislike about yourself. You become insecure and cannot seem to keep a positive attitude toward yourself or you begin to cherish and obsess over objects rather than loving yourself or others.
Of course there are many more attributes that may encroach on our lives and begin to dissolve any sense of self we have left. So what are we to do about it? How can we make sure that our universes don’t collapse and become overrun by another?

  1. Love yourself. The most important thing you can do is to treat yourself with the love and respect you deserve. Understand that it takes a team of makeup artists and a ton of airbrushing to make those models look perfect. We all have our flaws of course but if we have flaws we must logically have beautiful aspects as well. Look for them, not the flaws.
  2. Treat your body right. Make sure you eat well, drink plenty of water and exercise. I’m sure you’ve all heard that before but it truly is a great way to boost endorphins and create a positive mood. Exercise does not have to be going to the gym! Simply going out for a walk, swimming, hiking, biking are all great ways to get your blood pumping.
  3. De-stress at work. So your boss is a pain in the butt? Take a deep breath, understand their concerns and move on. The next time some project comes along be aware of what your boss has said beforehand so you won’t stress about it next time. Really having a tough time at work? Change it. Maybe it’s time for you to begin on a new career horizon. Don’t go quitting the job just yet but prepare yourself for a career change. Go take some classes at a college nearby or online to jump-start yourself onto a new path.
  4. School. Organize your time into blocks and have it set out for yourself where you can see it. Have reminders to work on that essay a little each day instead of cramming it the day before it’s due. Not a class you enjoy? If it’s something you must take for your requirements try and figure out a way to make it fun. Maybe you need Biology but you are much more interested in Art. Draw your notes! See if you can find fun ways to illustrate what your text is trying to teach you. Not great at Math? Make use of others in class who are good at math. Pick their brain a bit and learn some of their techniques. It may surprise you.

Relationships

  1. If you are in a stressful relationship with a Boyfriend or Girlfriend then maybe it’s time to re-evaluate what you would like at the moment. It could be time for a break or something a little more permanent. Friend relationships can be evaluated this way as well. Remember to always voice your concerns before ending something, it could just be lack of good communication between both sides.
  2. For family relationships communication is key as well. If it’s one of those situations that you cannot seem to help by communicating maybe it’s time to realize that certain people are just going to be the way that they are. This does not mean that you must act in a negative manner but just to remove yourself from the situation and begin focusing on yourself.
Remember, we are all in control of how we act, think, speak, listen, love and treat one another. Just because another is treating us bad does not mean that we should treat them bad. Respect those around you, show compassion toward strangers and you will be surprised as to how many positive responses you will get.
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Blog #2: Getting Back On Track!


So lately I’ve been a bit frazzled and out of place by not having such a clear mind.  I have lost touch with myself and I think it’s about time that I finally reconnect. Have you ever had a period of time where your mind just doesn’t seem to be working? It’s as if a haze seeps into your head and you really just can’t find your way. Yeah, this is pretty much how I’m feeling.

I go through life in such a fast-paced way that I just barely notice anything. My mind races with thoughts and I can’t seem to slow them down. When I was meditating daily I noticed a significant change in this. I was thinking more clearly and I was able to pay attention to more things in life. I feel that I had gotten thrown off the meditation wagon for a while to help me realize it’s benefits. It really does help with coordination and being able to be more in the moment. Buddha really had something going on there.

It’s fantastic to see how much meditation really does help the brain. I had done a study about meditation and the human brain and the findings were simply fantastic. It has the ability to repair neural pathways, cure things like ADD, depression, anxiety and the like. It also has the ability to make the synchronization between both hemispheres much more equal and it allows for the whole brain to be used during day to day activities, not just spots. This will allow for a more even distribution of thoughts when trying to figure out a problem. Instead of looking at the problem from just a few points you will be able to see it from many more points.

It’s important to note that this really has helped cure even the most horrid of problems, cancer. There has been extensive research that meditation can cure cancer. By changing the way the brain thinks, it can change the way the cell thinks. What a fantastic thing! Our cells respond to everything we do. Every positive or negative thought, every positive or negative person in our life, every healthy or unhealthy thing we do (Whether it’s eating or working-out;Or the lack of the two)

So people, we must listen to our bodies! We are made up of so many complex structures and so many things that we just won’t understand. The most important thing that we can do is to treat our bodies in the best way possible.

Healing comes from within!

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