Tag Archives: Self-Help

Exercise 2 : Learn To Love YOU!

So I notice that when people first start talking to me they come off as being content with their lives only for them to open up five minutes later about how they hate x, y and z. When I first meet someone, whether it be online or off, I generally can get a good feel for who they are the minute I start speaking with them. I don’t like to sound cocky but I can see through people pretty well. Often times, I won’t point out these little things because, to me, that doesn’t matter. But, for the most part, people can generally go on and on about things they don’t like about themselves.

Think about it, while you may be shaking your head and saying “No, no I’m really happy” (Which, I think that there really are people who are happy with themselves out there) You can probably go on and on about this one thing that you really dislike about yourself. This can be some bad habit, your appearance, something you did years ago that still haunts you or a myriad of other issues. While we can all go on rambling about things we dislike, do we take the time to ramble about things we like?

I don’t mean that you should go running around proclaiming you are god’s gift to mankind but, be a little nicer on yourself! This exercise is designed to help YOU bring out those positive qualities and start highlighting those rather than always rambling about the negative.

1. Take out a piece of paper and fold it in half vertically. You should have a left and a right column.

2. Label one column “Things I love about my appearance” and “Things I love about my personality” Notice how we are not writing a “Pro’s” and “Con’s” list.

3. Begin with your appearance. I guarantee you can list at LEAST 5 things you love about your appearance. Is it how your hair shines in a certain light? Is it about how your eyes get to be a beautiful color when you wear a certain outfit? Or about how people are commenting on your beautiful figure? Whatever you can think of, write it down.

4. Next go to your personality. Do you love how you always can help out a friend in need? Do you volunteer at a local shelter or soup kitchen? Can you make others laugh? You can probably name a ton of things about your personality. Write ’em all!

5. When you’re all done, go over each list. Notice all of the wonderful things you have just said about yourself. Keep this list in a place where you can see it and the next time you’re thinking about rambling on about all the bad things, take a look at this list.

No matter what, you are beautiful and wonderful. There are so many diverse and great things about being you that only you can possess. Don’t worry that you don’t have what the person next to you has, be happy with what you have. More often than not, the person next to you is wanting something you have.

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We Control The Universe

Now it must sound like quite an egotistical way to simply state that “We control the universe” but at the core of it, we do. It may seem to many that our lives are constantly governed by others from our bosses telling us to do something to our spouses getting angry that we haven’t done something the correct way. We are generally taught that the world is not our own and we must do as we are told in order to get anywhere in life. Being told to act a certain way, respond a certain way and think a certain way are all things that we are spoon-fed since day one. The concept of the ability to “control the universe” is one that starts from the center of your world. This center is always you. Think about it for a moment, if you look around things are always in front of you, always behind you, always above and below you. From another object or person, they are the center of their universe. So after we’ve established that you are indeed that center point of the universe, how do we control the situations that are given to us? Surely we cannot control whether we get the promotion or not or if tomorrow the sun will shine, right? Our abilities do not span outside of ourselves and whatever situations arise we cannot simply wave a magic wand and make it disappear (or appear for that matter) What we do have is the ability to think, react, feel. Let’s say for instance you do not get that promotion, will you let that bring you down? Will you let that promotion haunt you and consume your life? Or, will you take control of it yourself? What are some things that we allow to consume our universes?

  1. Relationships. Having stressed relationships with those around us. Whether it be family, friends, significant others or even strangers we can find ourselves in situations where we consume our lives with others instead of ourselves. (There is a difference here between being selfish and self-caring)
  2. Work. So our bosses pile up the paperwork or get angry at us for making that little mistake that really would not have made a significant difference in the company whatsoever. We become burnt-out and stressed from even thinking about work the next day.
  3. School. Whether you are in college, high school or pursuing any other type of education getting your work done on time and in the way that the professor or teacher wants it is daunting. Either you strive too hard to get straight A’s and can’t let a B blemish your record or you simply have too much to juggle.
  4. Materialism and self-image. You see beautiful people all day and when you go to look in the mirror you suddenly notice things you dislike about yourself. You become insecure and cannot seem to keep a positive attitude toward yourself or you begin to cherish and obsess over objects rather than loving yourself or others.
Of course there are many more attributes that may encroach on our lives and begin to dissolve any sense of self we have left. So what are we to do about it? How can we make sure that our universes don’t collapse and become overrun by another?

  1. Love yourself. The most important thing you can do is to treat yourself with the love and respect you deserve. Understand that it takes a team of makeup artists and a ton of airbrushing to make those models look perfect. We all have our flaws of course but if we have flaws we must logically have beautiful aspects as well. Look for them, not the flaws.
  2. Treat your body right. Make sure you eat well, drink plenty of water and exercise. I’m sure you’ve all heard that before but it truly is a great way to boost endorphins and create a positive mood. Exercise does not have to be going to the gym! Simply going out for a walk, swimming, hiking, biking are all great ways to get your blood pumping.
  3. De-stress at work. So your boss is a pain in the butt? Take a deep breath, understand their concerns and move on. The next time some project comes along be aware of what your boss has said beforehand so you won’t stress about it next time. Really having a tough time at work? Change it. Maybe it’s time for you to begin on a new career horizon. Don’t go quitting the job just yet but prepare yourself for a career change. Go take some classes at a college nearby or online to jump-start yourself onto a new path.
  4. School. Organize your time into blocks and have it set out for yourself where you can see it. Have reminders to work on that essay a little each day instead of cramming it the day before it’s due. Not a class you enjoy? If it’s something you must take for your requirements try and figure out a way to make it fun. Maybe you need Biology but you are much more interested in Art. Draw your notes! See if you can find fun ways to illustrate what your text is trying to teach you. Not great at Math? Make use of others in class who are good at math. Pick their brain a bit and learn some of their techniques. It may surprise you.


  1. If you are in a stressful relationship with a Boyfriend or Girlfriend then maybe it’s time to re-evaluate what you would like at the moment. It could be time for a break or something a little more permanent. Friend relationships can be evaluated this way as well. Remember to always voice your concerns before ending something, it could just be lack of good communication between both sides.
  2. For family relationships communication is key as well. If it’s one of those situations that you cannot seem to help by communicating maybe it’s time to realize that certain people are just going to be the way that they are. This does not mean that you must act in a negative manner but just to remove yourself from the situation and begin focusing on yourself.
Remember, we are all in control of how we act, think, speak, listen, love and treat one another. Just because another is treating us bad does not mean that we should treat them bad. Respect those around you, show compassion toward strangers and you will be surprised as to how many positive responses you will get.
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